I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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