you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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