I love black thongs
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
