yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
