The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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