Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
