What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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