So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
