Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
