the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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