My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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