If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
