"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My ATM looks so different sober.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
