I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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