Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
