So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
