Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
