I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
