its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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