Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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