Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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