We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
