just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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