that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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