i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize