i barfeds in our rink
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
