It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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