Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
