Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
