So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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