Your tits are I can't wait for
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
