I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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