how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
