You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just puked most of my soul out..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
