Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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