So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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