That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
