I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's Friday. Sex?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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