he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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