Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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