You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My vagina just clenched in fear
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
