I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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