I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize