Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
