in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
