Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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