hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize