that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
