Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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