rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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