ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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