My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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