You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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