I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
