Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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