pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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