I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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