C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize