I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
