If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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