Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
