I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
