then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
